Hmm... Theo mik thì bài khá hay và ý nghĩa nhưng bạn không nên dùng mấy cái ví dụ đó mà nên kể về kỷ niệm với cô Trang của bạn. Và mấy câu cuối cùng nghe có vẻ hơi nặng nề "I swear, a good teacher is who she is." nhất là câu này.

Còn đây là một bài mình viết cho bạn về cô Trang, mong bạn tham khảo :

The teacher I love and respect is Ms. Trang.
During the entire school year, I have never seen a single student. If anyone that does not memorize the song, she gently comments and gives sincere advice like a mother, their sister. During each class, she kindly instructed us. Her voice is deep and warm, resonating very easily. She patiently taught us little by little. At recess, she still lingered in the class, down to the table of the friends who had not yet mastered the lesson to teach. Although normally she is very gentle, when there are friends who make mistakes, she strictly reviews and points out the mistakes so that we will not repeat them later. I consider her as a mother in my class.